hey

hello.. i finally got a new cell phone.. im so excited! lol woohoo.. wit a camera on it too so its awesome. anyways nothings new just school work and friends.. jacob called me from virginia and now hes there for some military college thing. which its better than bootcamp cuz he bought a cell phone over there and now he can actually talk to me everyday. we been talking everyday since sat nite.. last sat i was suppose to go out after work but i just stayed home and talked to jacob till 3am.. i miss him.. but only time will tell what will happen... Whats MeAnT To Be WilL FiNd A WaY!!
  • Current Music
    blvd of broken dreams- green day

(no subject)

This is so gay.. Spears me and tommy went to the pool hall sunday nite and then taylor and all his friends come walking in i freaked out cuz taylor never comes to the pool hall.. maybe like once a month so that nite he decided to go and he sees me with tommy. and tommy is a guy whos been calling me n stuff but were jus friends. and taylor was there was his girlfriend marissa and then taylor was always looking and jeremy comes towards me and he was like "angie taylor wants to fite ur guy friend but im not gunna let him be stupid" i asked him why the hell he gunna be like that when hes girlfriend is rite next to him and jeremy says "its because he still loves you and hes jealous besides his girlfriend will give anyone here head cuz shes a slut" i laughed so hard i was like jeremy thats soo funny!! then rite when i was laughing taylor looked at me and i stopped laughing n flicked him off and then he walks towards outside and looks at my table and just gives us a dirty look then he calls me after me n tommy left from his girlfriends cell phone and he says im a fake and everything ive ever said to him was a lie so we argued then i heard his girlfriend in the back and he goes whatever just leave me alone and hangs up i was like whoa ok? i didnt call him he called me so then i go to sleep after that then the next morning at about 10am he calls me from his job "hey wanna hang out later?" i was like what?? you jus told me to leave you alone and your the one calling me!.. whatever dude.. so we kept hanging up on each other n stuff. idk i jus rather him get out of my life for good. Besides JACOB CALLED ME LAST SAT i was happy.. he said he send me a letter after the last time i talked to him and i havent gotten it so im guessing it went to the aparment mailbox and taylor got it out read it and ripped it up.. if i dont get it today in the mail a whole week n 2days later ima be pissed!! i cant wait till jacob gets back!! March 23!! ;) god i miss him so much..! <33

Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart.
Love is not like anything.
Especially a fucking knife.
-the used!
  • Current Music
    the used- im fake

Taylor

Finally me and him are over for good.. i no everyone doesnt believe me when i say this but we really are over. i jus feel bad cuz the other nite he was crying in my car saying "angie ima piece of shit and im not going newhere in life" and i felt bad but he was talking about ending his life and stuff. well i told him id help him get his diploma and then get his license back and just start over. and he said "come with me to ny" what am i gunna do in ny, he was like startover with me.. i said no then he said lets get a 1bedroom apartment i said no i cant be doing all that, he said "ur good for me angie ur all i got" and i said i no that cuz its true but hes all wrong for me. and i needed to bring him up not him bring me down. well then after all this talk we were fine, then the next day (yesterday) after skool we were layin on his couch watchin a movie n his phone rings then i heard a gurl voice and i flipped cuz i knew it was marissa callin his ass so i got up and left and he called me saying it was neil who called so i called neil and he said he never called taylor so taylor went psycho callin my phone i scream so much i was like "dont ever call me or talk to me or come up to me i hate you!!! u are a piece of shit why did i spend my time on you!!" n he was like "please hear me out" but i was like "leave me alone" so my friend danielle got on the phone and told him "taylor leave her alone its over its done just quit calling her if she wants to talk shell call if not then get over it" and he went psycho saying" no im not going to i need her to believe me i cant lose her shes all i got!" and danielle convinced him to stop callin and that i would call him later and he said "ok well can u do me a favor can you tell her i love her?" n thats was the last i heard from him.. its done, its over.. let it go
  • Current Music
    why cant i?-

The Notebook

i love the Notebook!! i bought it the nite before it came out right at 12:00AM LOL. it got me mad tho cuz i watched it wit taylor yesterday and he was like angie this movie is all about you n jacob.. i kinda jus thought about it
  • Current Mood
    blah blah

Truth

last night was the worse nite ever..

i tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it..
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed

(no subject)

Your Porn Star Name is: Asslee Bendover




Yeahh!!!* lol...



I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own
-pieces sum 41
  • Current Music
    pieces- sum 41

Right On!

_* I have too many absents so i have to bring in doctors notes to excuse some of the days so im just going with sarah and tricia's homeschool bus.. Skipping is a bad habit hah..
_* me sarah ashley kandis and tricia are all going to grad nite in the same bus WOOHOO loL! awesome!!
_* taylor said he has something planned out for me for my graduation night* Hmmm i wanna no damnit! (its a surprise) blahh
_* Mr. Ward is gay i heard about that bullcrap in fleming high..

And i cant, i cant pick up the pieces.....*
  • Current Music
    only one- yellowcard

So deep that i didnt even scream FUCK ME!

So deep that it didn’t even bleed and catch me,
Off guard
Red handed; now I’m far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn’t even bleed, catch me.

I need something else
would someone please just give me?
Hit me and knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh all I want inside
I still am empty
So deep that it didn’t even bleed, catch me.

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
(All that I’ve got)

I guess I remember every glance you shot me
Unharmed, I’m losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn’t even scream Fuck me.

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
(All that I’ve got)


So deep that it didn’t even bleed and catch me
So deep that I didn’t even scream Fuck me.

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got.
- the used

*_i got that song stuck in my head..
*_ the other nite i was workin and i saw jacobs friends up there and trip said hey n stuff it was jus weird talking to them without jacob being there.. its so weird, i havent talked to him in a while before he left we ended in good terms. finally friends lol .. xoxo im hungry
*_ I cant wait till spring break!! SOUTH BEACH BABY!!
*_ me n ash took some NO-Doz pills cuz we went to bed late last nite n of course she made me take 2 so im all wired uP!!! hahah xoxo
  • Current Music
    the used- all that ive got

Worse fight ever*! ehhh

Hey, Last nite was bad.. eh.. i cried myself to sleep at about 3am. me n taylor fought.. i came home from work a lil upset cuz everyday it seems like someone has to tell me not to be with taylor or ask me why im with him and why im living with him well yesterday i had 3 guys ask me n preach why i shouldnt be with him. so i came home and (yes it was my fault) i blamed him and bitched him out saying i was tired of people telling me to leave you and like he said ITS NOT HIS FAULT he was like "what u want me to do? i did fuck up in my past i cant go back and change it, i didnt no i was going to get with you and be serious with you i didnt no you existed when i was like that" and hes right theres nothing he can do and i always bitch at him about it. so last nite he got out of my bed cuz i dont think before i talk and i said "ur driving me crazy taylor" and he got up and slept on the couch and i cried myself to sleep. i had this cry building up in my chest for soo long,, just about everything. i dont want this relationship to end like mine n jacobs did. and thats why i cried cuz im scared, cuz i was confused and cuz i was asking myself why in the world am i blaming him now? he isnt doing anything wrong... So today im actually gunna go hang out with ash after school and have some time away from that apartment and then ill come home when i feel like having this sorry talk with him. hes right tho i always try to put him thru a guilt trip for wha he did in the past theres nuttin he can do about it now. and he got mad at me cuz he said would u ever marry me? and i said nooo but i was joking, cuz i would marry that kid in a heartbeat if we were older.. xoxo i love him* ;) and another thing is im stressing cuz im working my ass off to pay rent off cuz this month was gunna be hard since we moved 2weeks ago and i only had 2 weeks to come up with rent money and then i gotta do better at school. and save money for insurance, and my cell phone bill.. i was happy i got major props last nite by rosie's guy friend cuz im still in high school, paying rent,paying bills, n working i felt good. lol a lot of ppl are like "ur so independent" i am.. i hate depending on someone.. ;) xoxo hopefully today will go better.....

<33
  • Current Music
    let me love you- mario (mine n tay's song) ;)